The heart knows no boundaries when it comes to love. I hope that you know how much we love you and miss you. In your short time with us, you touched our lives in so many ways, and taught us so much. You taught us that life truly is a gift from God. We should treasure every moment, and live for today because tomorrow is no guarantee. I am so thankful for the time that I had with you, and that God chose me to be your mother. Although you are no longer with us, you will forever be a part of our family. Our special angel. You will live forever in our hearts and memories. Until we meet again, just know that we love you.

We went to the specialists on June 29, the first of many appointments. It was there that we learned we were having the son that we longed for, but that our son would not survive. He had a very rare condition called Bilateral Renal Agenesis or Potters Sequence. This meant that our son had no kidneys.

We were devastated. We were urged to terminate the pregnancy, but we knew that we could not. I wanted all the time I could get with my son, both before and after birth. I continued having ultrasounds, hoping that they would magically find his kidneys, afterall, even doctors do make mistakes. The further my pregnancy progressed I think in my mind I knew the doctors hadn't made a mistake, but my heart couldn't accept it. We had waited so long for our son, and he was going to be taken from us.

I went into labor on October 8, 1999, at almost 34 weeks. My son was born at 7:58 p.m. weighing 3 lbs. 3 oz, and measuring 15 1/4 inches long. We named him Zachary Charles. He was absolutely beautiful! We had been warned that because of the prolonged amount of time he went without fluid in the womb that there would likely be severe deformities. On the outside, it was hard to believe there was anything wrong with our son, to us he was perfect! We had requested that he not be intubated, as we didn't want him to suffer. Our son slipped peacefully away in his father's arms at 9:25 p.m.

We miss Zachary so much. There's not a day that goes by that he is not on my mind. Although he is no longer here with us physically, he will always be a very special part of our family. We know that he is in a better place, where he will never feel pain or sorrow, but that doesn't keep it from hurting. My arms ache to hold my son again. I look at my daughters, which I am so thankful for, and wish that I had been able to see Zachary grow up too. I guess God just needed him more than we did. He now had another perfect angel.